There is nothing more attractive than a good man.

Been trying to get back to "looking for the good" in the world around us, and one glaring example of good is Mark.  

What a good dad and husband. In his spare time he always tries to get one on one time with each of us.  Just this past week I've watched him work with L on his model engine, assemble a new desk with E, work on solving a Rubix Cube with Cam, snowblow and clean off the van so the boys and I can get out easily, take me out for a dinner date, and even now he is out in the freezing cold, shoveling and working on the boys' sled runs on our hills. 

In the over 15 years that we've been married, I've never seen him down, until these past couple of months.  Watching him try to work his way out of it, as I've been trying to as well, has been emotionally taxing.  But, my, what a good man he is. I'm a lucky gal. 

A little anger does a body good?

Hmmm.  I think it's interesting that ever since I've felt like the universe had given me a big middle finger, last fall, I have been changing, athletically.  Having experienced sadness and frustration and anger has put a little fire in my step.  I usually say that I'm not into sports, but, over the past couple of months, that seems to have changed.  I have not only been watching and enjoying my middle boy's basketball games(and getting really into them!), but I've also: watched(and paid to get into) a high school girls' bball game, AND have watched and cheered for/gotten into THREE entire Patriot's games. 

I also just did my first ever 8 mile run on the treadmill, today...slowly but surely have been able to increase my mileage. Today's run was my 29th treadmill run, since we bought it at the beginning of winter.

I've always said that I have noticed that a lot of athletes, or people who are super into sports, tend to seem to have a little inner anger that they can tap into.  Interesting to me that the correlation between my inner "fire" and my interest in sports seems to be in sync.  

And- I don't feel "angry." I feel good. 

Thanks, world, for the little athletic boost.  Maybe before I try for my first half-marathon, you can disappoint and hurt/tick me off again, just to give me some extra oomph. :) 

Instead of chatting and ignoring the game, I'll be the one yelling at the TV for tomorrow's Super Bowl. 

Living Small

Man, I love the tiny house movement.  I told Mark that building a tiny house is on my bucket list; even if it's just to have one on our property as a "clubhouse" for the boys, at first, it is a goal.

I used to wish for a bigger house; more room to spread out; more room to be able to host large parties.  However, as I get older, I see the beauty in "less house." Instead of having a goal to add more space (and another bathroom), our goal is to get out of a mortgage as soon as possible.  Being tied down to a house (and the mortgage that comes with it) just feels burdensome.

To have less upkeep, less room to not fill with more stuff, less money spent on decor, less affecting the environment with the pollution our house puts out...all of this sounds very appealing.  Making the best use of the space we have, and using finances to do other things; to go other places and to give more to others, just makes sense to me.  I think our future goals with our current home will be to finish off the projects we've started, when we're able, and to possibly build a future garage so that our vehicles can be out of the elements.  But other than that, the desire to put an addition on, or to add more bedrooms so we can do foster care again and have more space, is waning.

I find the idea of a tiny house to also be a wonderful solution to young adults who are ready to move out of the home, but who don't want to incur loads of debt while finding their way in their employment journey...I wonder if this will be something the boys will want to do, when they move out of our home.  I wonder if Mark and I will downsize, when they move out.

Looking forward to trying to live small.
http://tiny-themovie.com/

No More Paper Piles. (A suggestion for a more clutter-free New Year.)

(This was an article I had written up, to be used in a blog that I write for, occasionally, but it isn't needed, so I thought I'd post it here, instead.)

One thing that is a nasty Clutter Creator in the home: paper.  Paperwork of varying sorts - magazines, coupons, other mail, mixed with family paperwork - can be a major source of mess.  When piles of papers are covering the table(s), desk(s) or counter(s), the task to organize them can seem overwhelming, which can lead to frustration over such a daunting task.  Often, because it’s such a mess, they are just left there, which only causes them to grow (and which causes the frustration to grow, too).

Having an easy system to organize your mail and other paperwork is one important key to keeping the home organized.  I have had girlfriends ask for help with organizing their home, and oftentimes I find that the lead cause of clutter and disorganization is paper-related.

Everyone has a system that will work best for them, but here’s what works best for me and our family.  First off, I really don’t read magazines, so when I get them, I put them in the front seat of my van right away, and often drop them off at the library, onto the “free to take home” table.  If your library does not have one of these, then put them right into the recycling bin.  I check my mail on the way up my driveway, and whatever is junk mail/stuff I won’t use does not even make it into the house.  I toss it into my recycling pile in the garage, which goes out each week.  If it does make it into the house, I leave it all somewhere that is in the way, so that I look through it as soon as possible and get it out of the way. If I keep a magazine and put it in my living room or bedroom, I really try to read it and not let it sit there for months...if it sits there un-read for too long, then out of the house it goes.

For the stuff I will use/keep, here is my simple system:  I have a hanging file system of four hanging files in my kitchen, above my white-board.  The files are labeled – one for receipts, one for recipes, one labeled, “urgent” and one that is blank/unlabeled, for miscellaneous items.

Any mail I open that needs immediate attention (as in, when I have time) goes into the “Urgent” file.  That includes coupons I want to use soon, forms I need to fill out, things I need to check up on, and bills that need to be paid.  When those things are taken care of, I move them to the “Receipts” file, (or shred them).  When that Receipts file gets full, I move the contents upstairs to my file box.  I also keep a separate, easy to access folder for anything I will need for tax returns.  The receipt/form goes from the Receipts file right upstairs, out of view, either into my file box or into my tax return folder.  This makes tax season much simpler, too!

The blank file is what I use to store papers that I want to keep handy, like free admission coupons or event information, or a manual for a new appliance that I’m not sure how to use.  The Recipes file is where I store those paper-copied recipes that I use often, and I do empty that out every now and then.

The main “ingredient” to this organizing medley is the recycling bin.  Probably 90% of the things I get in the mail go into the trash/recycling.  There have been many, many catalogs that I’ve received that I really wanted to keep, but I knew that I didn’t have the time or the money in the budget to peruse or buy, so I have tossed them right out, without even opening the cover.  Doing this every day makes it so that my counters, desks and tables stay paper-pile-free.  It’s amazing what a recycling bin and four hanging files can do.

I am a note-taker and list-maker.  I make lists every single day, multiple times a day for me and for my family members.  They are reminders of things I need to do, or need someone else to do, or reminders of what time we have to leave to get somewhere!  I can’t deal with a cluttered house or a cluttered brain, so I have found that a way to combat both is to use a whiteboard.  It is our family’s “central station” of sorts.  Anything we run out of, or are low on– milk, toothpaste, toilet paper, printer paper – all gets jotted down on the whiteboard as a running list for the next time one of us goes to the store.  Anything I need to remember to do each day, from taking the trash out, to calling the vet to get the dog’s allergy injection refills, to reminding me what I have to prep for company, and so much more, all get written on that board.  And after each task is finished, it gets erased.  I also use paper notebooks to keep other notes, but if you want to cut down on paper note-taking, try a whiteboard.  I couldn’t run our home without ours!  I also have a section with a few magnets to hold those invites or coupons or tickets that I don’t want to leave at home, that day, that is next to the whiteboard.   

There are lots of other areas of organization that need work to create an organized home atmosphere, but if the clutter-creator of paper can be properly managed with a system that works well then the home is well on its way to being an organized one.  Less paper piles = less stress = happier Mom.  If you haven’t become besties with your recycling bin yet, it’s the New Year, so maybe a goal can be to fill that bin up often with that unnecessary Clutter Creator of paper.  

Drawn to the Music

There have been interesting studies done that show the correlation between classical music and learning. Many have stated how listening to classical music can calm a child with A.D.D., boost the emotional mood, and stimulate creativity.  Baby Einstein DVDs were a staple in our home when my boys were babies.  I found that even modified classical music had a calming effect, and captured the boys’ attention.  I also used to play classical CDs in the car, and sometimes in the house while they played with toys.  I don’t know if it made them any smarter, but hey, it probably didn’t hurt! I do know that the music relaxed me and created a calming environment, which was welcome.  Even today, I try to pop on some classical music when I want to create a different atmosphere in the house, especially when I have the boys work on an art piece.

A local program that we have enjoyed participating in over the years is administered by The New Hampshire Philharmonic.  It is called, “Drawn to the Music.”  Each year, students are told what the classical music piece will be, and they listen and become inspired to create their art piece.  As this year’s project coordinator, Cynthia Velez, states in her letter to educators: “In this project, students will:

-Listen to a compelling orchestral piece,

-Draw an illustration in response,

-Witness a unique performance including their own art work.”

Once the students receive the information for this annual event, they listen to the music piece online, and read a suggested “storyline” that accompanies the music piece. They pick a “scene” that they’d like to illustrate a response to.  When we do this at home, we usually keep the orchestral piece playing in the background.  Once the student has completed their art piece (on an 8.5x11 paper, and created with oils, water colors, crayon or felt-tipped pen), it can be popped in the mail, or scanned/emailed.

If the student is selected, they will be notified by email by early March, and if they are selected, they get a free ticket to attend the full orchestral, formal concert held at The Palace Theatre in Manchester, NH.   The pieces of art that are chosen to tell the music story are on display on a large screen that is hung above the orchestra.  While the music piece is played (and occasionally there is a narrator as well), the art pieces flash by on the screen, according to the “scene” in the music “story.”  Seeing the mix of bright, kid-created artwork juxtaposed with the fancy orchestra playing below is delightful! The students enjoy seeing their art on display for all to enjoy.  For younger students who might get antsy during an orchestral concert, having the artwork to watch on the screen is helpful to hold their attention.

There is also a pre-show reception that happens prior to the concert, if the student chooses to attend.  The art is on display, and the artists mill around and get their photos taken by their proud family.

For this year’s music selection and scene information, go check out: http://www.nhphil.org/Education/DrawnToTheMusic.html

We DID need a little hog!

I wasn't planning on posting this week, but I have to.  The boys just heard someone at the door and opened it to the sweetest, surprise, special delivery!

A card that made us all smile, and the best bouquet, ever.  All sorts of yumminess, some homemade balloon and tissue paper flowers, funny booger glasses and even bones for Nellie, all in a beer mug as the vase! 

LaMarr family- thank you so much, for bringing some surprise sunshine to our day. We won't forget your kindness.

We think YOUR family rocks. Thank you, thank you. 

White flag

Have been getting emails asking for the email address of the organization who has allowed the coaches to get away with the unethical behavior.  Seems like a bunch of people want to help now that it's the weekend and people have more free time.

However, for them to receive a few emails each day is not how we'd pictured it; and I don't think that technique is going to do any good.  So, thank you, but thanks anyway.

We're just gonna wave the white flag and try to come to reality.  The boys need closure and so do Mark and I.  We will be mailing out thank you notes, to those of you who helped, this week. 

By the way, the main coach showed up to watch Logan's basketball game yesterday.  He has a relative on the team and chose yesterday as his first time this season, to show up to watch, wearing his Lego FIRST hat.  Again, being an unethical bully is not illegal.  So anyway, moving on.

Living on One Dollar a Day

With Mark's Mom in Guatemala, the boys at an overnight, and Mark asleep on the couch hours ago, possibly sick (or just run down from stress), I have been Netflix-ing it up, tonight, after a quick visit to a former neighbor's housewarming party.
Loved this movie.  Inspiring, informational, beautiful, and I would be so proud of these boys if they were my sons.  I think maybe a family trip to Guatemala might have to be on the Bucket List.

Bloody socks.

If my socks are bloody, after my run, does that mean I'm officially "a runner?"

I usually tell people that "I run, but, I'm not a runner."  Up until recently, I have only been able to run 3 miles at a time, with a few 4 mile runs I was able to do, by the end of last summer.

I lack the drive, or competitive nature, to push myself- I lack the "oomph" to care enough to push it.  I'm "athletic" but not an "athlete."

So, the fact that I decided to try to do a half-marathon, by fall 2015, is cuckoo-catchoo.  I don't know why I even want to try this.  

We were able to buy a used treadmill at the end of the fall/beginning of winter.  We don't have a huge house, so it's in the garage. I've been able to bundle up and head to the garage, to try to follow the training plan I printed out last month.

So far, so good...I had to redo week one, because I was sick and couldn't run and hack up a lung at the same time, that weekend, but other than that, I haven't missed a run yet.  Today was my first ever (well, since about 1994) 7 mile run! Wow! I remember when I couldn't run for 7 minutes without stopping.  

I don't know if I will be able to make it up to over 13 miles, but I'm gonna keep plugging along to try! Even though both socks had blood on them today because my toes were bleeding.  I think that means that I somehow am... A runner?

Kinda.

Safe travels!

Mark's Mum is on her way overseas, for a mission trip to Guatemala, this morning. We are hoping that her travels are safe, that she stays healthy, and that her time there, as she volunteers, is fruitful and life-changing.  We love you, Babci.

Brrrr.

When ya live in NH in the winter, you look for ways to stay sane.  We do that with skiing, sledding, walking the dog while wearing lots of layers, and by doing weird "crafts" like making ice marbles. (Just fill up balloons with a little water and food coloring, let freeze, and peel off the balloon. I was low on my balloon stash this year, and ran out of food coloring, but this year's batch is still cool.)

Woah!

In the less than 48 hours since I posted my first post- the reason I started this blog- to share the story of what we've been dealing with/working on, this blog has received over 1,100 views.

Whaaaaat?

So, that tells me that I know that the majority of the people I know, both friends and aquaintences, know the full scoop.  No need to keep it on here for gossip's sake.  If you are someone who didn't get to read it, drop me a note and I'll send it your way, and if you are someone who had wanted to help Mark and I and the boys out, per our request, but haven't had a chance to, let me know and I'll also forward you the info on that.

But, as much as I appreciate the viewer support here on this new blog, I would expect that those of you who care will have had already shown us that with your emails, etc.  (THANK YOU!)

Those of you who don't know our family,

or who do, but don't really care about us, trust me, there are way more entertaining blogs for you to read! Ha! This family is pretty boring, sorry.  You might want to find some way cooler blog to check out regularly. 

Radio

Anyone looking for an inspirational movie?  Mark and I just watched, "Radio" with Logan and Camden, and there wasn't a dry eye in the living room.  What an encouraging movie, based on a true story, about a football coach who does the right thing and takes in a mentally handicapped man, as his mentor and friend, even when most didn't think he should bother.
Grab the tissues before watching, but a lot of your tears will be happy tears.

Doing a little Phillippians 4:8-ing

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

Time to take a minute to think about an mention some awesome coaches/adult mentors that have been in my boys' lives.  Knowing that these boys have/can be dropped off and left alone, for hundreds upon hundreds of hours in their childhood lives, with other adults who care about them and have made their lives richer, is something to be thankful for.  We have a lot of awesome "coaches" in our lives, and I hope your families do, too.

Here are some of the adults in the boys' lives who have been amazing:
-Mark's family. Small, but the boys adore their paternal grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousin.
-Our boys' closest buds' parents.  The boys have had(and still have) so many awesome friends to do life with, who have families that are as awesomely imperfect as ours is.  It's been such a pleasure to have so many families we trust, when we drop the boys off somewhere for a gathering or sleepover.
-Past teachers. Being able to drop the boys off at the cutest little preschool/kindergarten ever, when they were little, for a few years, was such a comfort.  The ladies who taught at that school were (and are) such a treasure in their lives.
-Church leadership. All of the varied leaders from when the boys were younger and attended camps and Sunday School, all of the leaders they meet with weekly now, and the awesome leaders who lead youth group events and camps...what a well-rounded, strong group of individuals who my boys have been surrounded by, as they've developed their faith.  Same goes for any of the folks who have led homeless ministries that the boys joined me regularly with, in serving at.  Same goes for the AWANA club that the boys participated in, and were dropped off for, for years. So many adults have spoken kind and encouraging words of faith to my boys.  What a blessing.
-Fellow Christians. How many small groups/prayer groups/Bible studies have the boys been in/around, where the families were all encouraging the boys to keep walking in the right direction?  So many.  Wow.
-Piano Instructor. We've had one, amazing instructor, for, let's see...I think it's been 7 years, now.  To have an adult be firm and not let the boys get away with slacking, yet kind in her encouragement and authentic joy at their music successes, is one stellar coaching relationship.
-Drum Instructors. My middle guy has had 2; the most recent one who lives closer to us.  Both have also been wonderful.  What a joy to drop off my kids and leave them alone with some trustworthy adults.  Not everyone in the world has such a luxury. 
-All of the local Recreation Department varied coaches, from all of the varied teams the boys have been on/tried. From golf lessons, to tennis, to archery, to tee ball/baseball, to basketball, to soccer camps and teams, the coaches for all have been wonderful- the perfect mix.  We've had nothing but good experiences with these coaches; all have been great.
-Lego coaches/groups. The boys have loved every one of their Lego BrickMaster classes, as well as the PlayWell camp that we tried.  Legos rock, and it seems as though most of the Lego coaches rock, too. 
-Co-op class instructors. From the hired instructors the boys have had in classes like in Spanish and Art, to the co-op Moms who teach classes like Science, Mock Trial, and Mixed Class(a varied skills class), the boys have been dropped off for countless hours in the past 7 years of homeschooling, and I get to feel totally comfortable knowing that they are in great care.

-Local library.  I wonder how many hours the boys have spent at our local library, being dropped off for book clubs/events?  The adults who work there are amazing, and we have a special fondness for the Children's Librarian. 

-The boys online instructors.  2 of the boys take courses online with various instructors, and between last year and this year, I have had the pleasure of speaking with nine different instructors.  Getting to talk with them about the boys' progress, and hearing the feedback has been so uplifting as a Mom.  My favorite thing, though, is when I get to overhear these instructors having chats with the boys during/about their lessons.  Teachers do not get enough credit for being everyday Superheroes.  I can barely supervise homeschooling 3 boys, so to anyone who teaches and speaks life and encouragement into young kids' lives: kudos.  You are amazing, and thank you. 

Who have I missed?  I'm sure there is someone.  The reality is that we have so much to be thankful for- there really are so many awesome "coaches" in this world, and in our lives, personally.   If you are one of them, thank you!  Gonna keep "thinking about these things" and thanking God for them, today.